Friends have been asking me to start a blog about my experiences teaching yoga and maybe even posting a practice every now and then. I rarely have time on my hands, but this morning I'm avoiding grading, so here I am.
I do not try to claim I am anything other than I am, and I hope that this blog will reflect the same. I am a teacher by my most basic nature, with more than 14 years of university-level English instruction under my belt (and that is what I'm avoiding grading at the moment... discussion boards over a selection of short fiction works). To say I'm a procrastinator is not inaccurate. This first post is to help you get to know me (for those of you who don't) and to share how I came to be a yogini.
First, I have a ridiculous amount of education... a bachelor's in history and writing, a master's in English and the teaching of English, a master's in education with an emphasis in student affairs in higher education, a certificate in international student relations, and doctorate in education with an emphasis in higher education administration. Though I teach, and have done so in a full-time capacity in the past, I currently only teach part time (classes in English composition, introductory literature, Native American literature, and yoga), mostly for the love of it and partly (let's be honest!) for the money (which is very little for the effort expended!). My full time work is in faculty and graduate student development, and if you want to know more about that, let me know, and I'll elaborate.
I am also a "sorority girl" and have been since I pledged at age 19 as a sopohomore in college. I know that being Greek isn't for everyone, and I respect that. It's been such an amazing experience for me that I continue to serve my sorority as a national officer. I see my work as a chance to help young women realize their potential and become strong, thoughtful, and independent good citizens of their communities. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Uh huh, that's what sorority life is all about." Well, actually, it is, but that's a whole other blog in itself, so we'll just leave it there for now. :-)
I am married with no children (and no currently plans for any) and live on a small farm in the middle of no where in Kentucky, surrounded by a Mennonite community of nearly 500 families. I have eight cats and 2 dogs and 3 visiting possums. We are attempting to have our first organic garden this year, and so far, it seems to be working. :-)
I started practicing yoga when I was at my most disgruntled with myself physically-- I weighed 230 pounds and couldn't get comfortable to sit or sleep, I was tired of buying increasingly larger clothes, and my asthma was ridiculously bad. I was pretty miserable. A friend said, "Try yoga. It's for everyone. And it makes you feel SO GOOD." So I found some leggings, poured my bulbous being into them, found a t-shirt, and went to the next 6:00am yoga class at my gym. I sat at the back, off to the side, near the door, in case I decided that I just couldn't keep up and didn't want to disturb the others in my quick exit. But that didn't happen.
I found that my dancing training and gymnastics skills and all the agility and flexibility that I'd had as a teenager and young adult had not abandoned me at age 33 despite the abuse I had heaped on my body since my days as a cheerleader and basketball player. I found the stretches and holds comforting and challenging and something I wanted to do more of. For the first time in my life, I didn't mind sweating, and trust me, even though it was a gentle yoga class, I WAS DRIPPING and at times breathless. I was disappointed when the hour passed quickly. I didn't miss another class (twice a week at 6:00am!) that semester, or the next, or the next....
During that time, I continued the gentle yoga classes and began taking mixed-yoga classes that involved props, more variety of poses, and more sweat. When classes weren't in session, I practiced on my own as well as I could, in the backyard. During this time, I also started paying attention to what I ate. And in the end, combined with cardio 3 days a week and weights 2 days a week, I lost 87 pounds. I was so in love with yoga that I started recruiting others to come to the classes, but the early hour made most people shrug it off. That's when I started seeking how I could become a teacher.
Within 6 months, I was teaching a general education yoga course for my university. It meets twice a week in the evening for an hour. Because all of our students are required to take either a PE activity course (which is what mine is-- no philosophy beyond a bare introduction, no religious context, just pranayama, asanas, and meditation) or a personal health course, and because gen ed courses are classes that students want to get out of the way, I tend to have mostly freshwomen (yes, very few men) as my students. This fluctuates... in fall, it's almost all (I'd say 95%) first year students, and it's almost always women (for the first 4 terms I taught, I never had more than 1 man per class). In the spring terms, I see a huge shift to seniors who either put the PE class off or who know the benefits of yoga and want them to be forced upon them during their last, tumultuous semester before "real life" begins. I've recently started having staff members use their "free classes" benefit and enrolling, too, so I get some non-transitional students, too (not 18-21 years old). Last term, I had 8 men between my 2 class rosters, and most of them were there for the yoga (a couple were there to try to hit on the girls, believe it or not...). My classes fill up quickly, and I typically have about 20-30 requests or first-day hopefuls trying to get in, but a room can only hold so many people (and honestly, I'd prefer it if I had a class cap of 20, but that's another posting).
On the first day of class (not unlike this blog post!), we talk about how yoga is for everyone. I don't care if you're 18 or 80, if you weigh 100 or 300 pounds... hatha yoga (physical yoga, pronounced "huht-ha") is adaptable to your needs, to your body, to your mind, and everyone has to start somewhere and build their own practices from there.
That's the first lesson my yogini taught me in my first class. Anyone can do yoga if he/she wants. This isn't like ballet, where every move has a perfect form that you must strive every day to reach, or like music, where there are definitely wrong ways to sing a song. I tell them to use our room-- which is crazy big with 30 foot ceilings and housed in the belly of the football stadium-- as a sanctuary where they can escape from papers, bosses, significant others, and any conflict or distraction and focus on themselves for an hour twice a week. I share that yoga is a practice that is deeply personal, that only you can decide when you are where you need to be in the moment, today, right now. But..... of course there is someone who brings up, "So we can sit in child's pose every day and never be wrong or penalized?" Well, of course not every day. You should still be challenging yourself on the days you're "up to it," but if you are ill or injured or drained, and you need that sanctuary but you know certain asanas are just going to make life worse, then yes, find the pose that works in the moment, be that a resting pose, like child's pose or corpse, or just a modification of whatever we are working on at the moment.
That first day, there are nervous giggles as we go over how to safely build and deconstruct poses, do some basic pranayama, and try some poses to just get our feet wet (big-toe open boat and happy child/dead bug always make us all smile with their unfeminine postures), and I encourage this as we are there to enjoy ourselves, to learn about what works for us and doesn't, to listen to our bodies, which we never do any more... and to escape what's not inside those four walls for just an hour.
And that's how I approach yoga in my own life and in the practices I lead. My goal is to have my students, at the end of 16 weeks, leave there with the ability to safely and smartly construct practices on their own (that's even one of their assignments!) so that they may continue the benefit of yoga in their own lives, in their own created sanctuaries, wherever that may end up being.
I suspect if you're reading this, you already know these things and more about yoga. But some may not. But this is who I am, and what I hope to share in future entries. What I like about yoga. What I hate about yoga. What I learn about myself and about others from yoga. Every now and then, I may toss in a flow or meditation or maybe a whole set practice that I've enjoyed (I don't think I ever do the same thing twice in class, though I do write them out and share them via Blackboard with the students for their own practice).
I'm not a perfect yogini. I don't even look like one. Though I lost 87 pounds, I regained 30 thanks to my asthma and some steroids (which I'm still on and likely will be for the rest of my life). Still, it's not about how I look on the outside; it's about how I feel on the inside. And yoga has made and continues to make such a massive difference in my life that I don't see stopping it. Ever.
I hope you'll join me... in reading, in practice, or both!
Sarva mangalam!
