Proof Is in the Pudding

When I first met my husband, he was so laid back, so calm about every crisis that came along, and I was,well, NOT.  His secret was meditating, even if just for 10-15 minutes a day, to try to settle his mind or bring clarity to that which was not going well.  We are "star-crossed lovers," as Shakespeare said (he's a Capricorn, and I'm a Sagittarius), so we have lots of "we have the worst luck" sorts of things happen to us as a couple.  The latest: the wind whipping around at the last second and smashing a tree down on our house in a storm, when the rest of the time, the wind was blowing the opposite directions.  But I digress....

Meditation is one of those things that a lot of people in my part of the world shy away from, mainly because they think it is "un-Christian" and associated with a religion and religious practices (which it can be, but doesn't have to be) instead of being a way to bring a little bit of peace of mind in the middle of a hurried day or a lot of peace of mind to a stressful life. Some days it's easy, and some days it's nearly impossible, but I've found meditation to be the way that has moved me more toward a calm and peaceful person who can handle stress (and with my life tearing me 10 different ways at once most days....). 

The basic text I have my yoga students purchase for our class introduces basic ideas about meditation, and we dedicate one entire day of practice to it each term, with some practices ending in short guided meditations and all the others left for students to do what they need in those few minutes of savasana that end our time together. Many of my students comment that once we have the day devoted to meditation (where we go through 3 guided meditations, including a pranayama meditation that focuses on the chakra column for building energy through the breath, great for cold winter and rainy spring days!), they don't go a single day without at least a few minutes of meditation from that point on, and they can see the difference it makes in their lives nearly immediately.

Their favorites, they say, are the ones I share with for when they only have time between classes to practice (one of which is a walking meditation, another is a listening meditation), when they need to settle themselves before a test or a presentation that is making them jittery or that they may not feel confident about.  They say it is really hard the more nervous they are, but even those 5-10 minutes they can take for themselves is settling and comforting, and that they fell more confident going into the class and being able to then seat themselves and close their eyes for a moment or two more before beginning their endeavor.

I say this because, coming back to our fallen tree and our "crisis du jour" in our home, I realized last night what a bundle of stress my husband has become in the last year since we bought our old farm house with its 15.5 acres and neverending "to-do" list that gets longer by the day... while I've become more laid back and "Eh, it'll get done" about it all.  He's lost the time to meditate because of his obsession with that list, while I get it at least 4 days a week in class + the time I take for myself each night before I go to bed + stolen moments here and there.  In our 12 years of marriage, I've become the calmer one, able to weather most any storm (this time, literally!), while he's become, well, NOT that person. 

The proof is in the pudding.  Meditation helps us to be happier, better adjusted people who can better handle whatever life throws at us.  He realized that last night as we talked and realized he needs to recommit to that practice as well as take advantage of living with a yogini who can help him commit to a hatha practice.

So start little, and build meditation into your life.  See if it helps you.  I'll be surprised if it doesn't.

Odes to Asanas

In mid-April, I saw a blog post on YogaJournal.com that was about Side Plank and writing "odes" to poses.  Being both an English and a yoga teacher, I was intrigued, and as I read the short piece, I smiled and thought to myself how Side Plank was one of my least favorites for some of the reasons she loved it.  A full side plank was very difficult for me, mainly because I injured my right shoulder several years ago and had never been able to do it on that side.  Therefore, I just avoided it so that I wasn't "unbalanced" in my practice, doing something on the left that I couldn't do (I thought) without injury on my right.

But then my competitive side came out, inspired by what she wrote.  It's a pose often difficult for women because we usually lack the upper body strength to pop right into it, as I'd watched with envy as most of my male students would do when I demonstrated a full side plank vs. a modified side plank when I introduce the pose in class around mid-term.  The next few weeks at the gym, I made sure that I never skipped my upper body weight routine, and each week, I increased the weight by at least 5 pounds.  My shoulders have been weaker than they should be because I have been a weenie and not pushed that right shoulder, but I found that as I pushed it, the aching stopped... I could use it more... and so I kept pushing. I went from a mere 10 pound shoulder press to a 40 pound shoulder press.  Not much, I know, but a huge accomplishment for me. I've not used my right shoulder as I should in years!

Then one morning in a class I was taking, I was shown a new way to find the pose rather than how I had assembled it before.  I did it on the left and felt it to be a much smoother transition... I just rolled right up into it!So when we moved to the right side to repeat, I thought, "Right.  We're going to do this whole-heartedly, just go for it, no 'protecting' the weakness. It's not weak any more."  With some trepidation and my "I think I can!" attitude, I rolled my body to open into the pose.  It was shaky and wobbly and not at all graceful, and while I could only hold it for a few breaths, I listened to what my body told me as I reveled in this first truly full plank on my right side in my life.  It said that I liked it.  It didn't hurt.  It didn't twinge.  That shoulder LOVED the challenge of working in harmony with all else to keep me unfurled in lovely, albeit wobbly, alignment. I could feel myself smiling from head to toe!

When it came time to deconstruct, I found my true weakness with the pose: I couldn't get myself back down!  I finally gave in and sort of flopped out, left hand crashing to the mat for support, still smiling, seeing what I really needed to "fear" now was hurting myself coming out of the pose rather than getting into or holding it.  So I had something new to work on.

For fun and extra credit, I invited my classes to think on their favorite or least favorite poses and to write odes to them.  I got some wonderful, thoughtful responses, even from students I thought weren't taking the class very seriously.  Some were so funny that I laughed out loud when reading them, especially one girl's thoughts on the unfeminine happy child/dead bug.  One made me sad as I read how child's pose was her least favorite because she got the phone call of a young family member's death while she was finishing her practice at home in that pose, and although before that moment it had been a refuge and a reward, it became a reminder of that shocking moment.  

I could write a book of odes to asanas that I love and others that I have a tricky relationship with... I can't really say I "hate" any pose.  Each offers its own challenges and shows me a new place to improve.  They bring out my competitive side.  I haven't "given up" on any, though there are many I've yet to try as I know I need to master other poses below them before I attempt them with any sort of safety or grace, even wobbly grace. :-)  Below is my ode to one of my favorites.

What asana would you choose to write your ode(s)?

Ode to Butterfly

I love the connection of the soles of my feet, snuggling together, pressing each other for support, yet relaxing after giving the rest of me a firm foundation through my practice.

I love how you let me open up my heart and breathe deep, completely filling my chest, expanding outwards at the start.

I love how your wings spread wide on some days, but on others, you remind me to listen to my body, that my hips aren't ready for that much of a stretch... yet.

I love sighing down into you on those days my hips are warm from practice and ready to accept you, folding my body, rounding my spine, collapsing into a blissful stretch unmatched by any other pose.

I love the strength you force me to find after that release, rising from my core, inhaling fully to lift and open my heart again, ready to return to life refreshed, relaxed, renewed.

Namaste.