When I first met my husband, he was so laid back, so calm about every crisis that came along, and I was,well, NOT. His secret was meditating, even if just for 10-15 minutes a day, to try to settle his mind or bring clarity to that which was not going well. We are "star-crossed lovers," as Shakespeare said (he's a Capricorn, and I'm a Sagittarius), so we have lots of "we have the worst luck" sorts of things happen to us as a couple. The latest: the wind whipping around at the last second and smashing a tree down on our house in a storm, when the rest of the time, the wind was blowing the opposite directions. But I digress....
Meditation is one of those things that a lot of people in my part of the world shy away from, mainly because they think it is "un-Christian" and associated with a religion and religious practices (which it can be, but doesn't have to be) instead of being a way to bring a little bit of peace of mind in the middle of a hurried day or a lot of peace of mind to a stressful life. Some days it's easy, and some days it's nearly impossible, but I've found meditation to be the way that has moved me more toward a calm and peaceful person who can handle stress (and with my life tearing me 10 different ways at once most days....).
The basic text I have my yoga students purchase for our class introduces basic ideas about meditation, and we dedicate one entire day of practice to it each term, with some practices ending in short guided meditations and all the others left for students to do what they need in those few minutes of savasana that end our time together. Many of my students comment that once we have the day devoted to meditation (where we go through 3 guided meditations, including a pranayama meditation that focuses on the chakra column for building energy through the breath, great for cold winter and rainy spring days!), they don't go a single day without at least a few minutes of meditation from that point on, and they can see the difference it makes in their lives nearly immediately.
Their favorites, they say, are the ones I share with for when they only have time between classes to practice (one of which is a walking meditation, another is a listening meditation), when they need to settle themselves before a test or a presentation that is making them jittery or that they may not feel confident about. They say it is really hard the more nervous they are, but even those 5-10 minutes they can take for themselves is settling and comforting, and that they fell more confident going into the class and being able to then seat themselves and close their eyes for a moment or two more before beginning their endeavor.
I say this because, coming back to our fallen tree and our "crisis du jour" in our home, I realized last night what a bundle of stress my husband has become in the last year since we bought our old farm house with its 15.5 acres and neverending "to-do" list that gets longer by the day... while I've become more laid back and "Eh, it'll get done" about it all. He's lost the time to meditate because of his obsession with that list, while I get it at least 4 days a week in class + the time I take for myself each night before I go to bed + stolen moments here and there. In our 12 years of marriage, I've become the calmer one, able to weather most any storm (this time, literally!), while he's become, well, NOT that person.
The proof is in the pudding. Meditation helps us to be happier, better adjusted people who can better handle whatever life throws at us. He realized that last night as we talked and realized he needs to recommit to that practice as well as take advantage of living with a yogini who can help him commit to a hatha practice.
So start little, and build meditation into your life. See if it helps you. I'll be surprised if it doesn't.
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